Exercise excuses are often accessorized with a halo of righteousness. That’s what makes them so insidious. Think about all the things in your life that you try to balance: family, work, friends, finances, and of course…health. It’s easy to get trapped into thinking that these categories are mutually exclusive and, therefore, in direct competition with one another.
If we dig a little deeper, however, we discover that good health (and exercise in particular) is a generous giver–exercise not only helps us fill up our “health equity” but spills over into virtually every other category in our lives.
Exercise lifts our moods, enables us to solve problems, makes us more patient, and gives us energy to spare. I think I speak for more than just myself when I say that ALL of our relationships could use a little more of all those traits! Unfortunately, for many of us in committed relationships (romantic or otherwise), we tend to think in zero-sum terms. Here are some of the ways it comes out in our thinking:
“I can either spend an hour on the treadmill, or an extra hour with my kids.”
“I”d love to hit the gym every night after work, but I have such little time to catch up with my friends as it is.”
“My poor dog is cooped up all day. I feel guilty being gone any longer.”
These are all fair and selfless sentiments, but need not be the only way we look at our exercise time. These two adjustments to your mindset can help you conquer your fitness goals while keeping your loved ones close.
1. Pay attention to how you treat others after your next good workout.
Alluding to my earlier point, exercise reduces stress big-time. In a study by Neff and Karney (2009), couples showed to be more highly reactionary on days when they were experiencing increased levels of stress. When the cause of stress is ameliorated, couples are able to rally their more productive and optimistic relational skills. (Source: Grohol, John M. “Stress Hurts Relationships”. Pysch Central.) We all know this about ourselves, but it bears repeating: When we take care of our own health, we’re better caretakers of others. Period. The good news is that it doesn’t take that much exercise to re-frame our mood. Twenty minutes of exercise may not give you rock-star abs, but it will turn you into a rock-star colleague, spouse, parent, pet-owner, etc.
2. Turn your exercise time into bonding time.
While in general I don’t tout multitasking, it’s okay when you’re combining love and sweat. (And not in the way you’re thinking!) Nearly every pseudo-social relationship can find an activity pairing that improves connection AND cholesterol. Make a weightlifting date with your significant other. Take a lunchtime power walk with your co-worker. Take your infant to a “Mommy and Me” strength class (or hire a private trainer who specializes in this). Volunteer to take your kid to soccer practice, then run laps around the field while you watch their mad skills.
My healthy family toasting the fit life!
In the middle of writing this blog post, I had to take a few moments to follow my own advice. I had been plugging away on writing and computer work for several hours and was feeling guilty for ignoring our sweet Chihuahuas, who in turn were acting a little less than sweet. Tempted to kick them off until I finished my post, instead I bundled all of us up in human and/or canine coats and took them for a brisk walk in the chilly Alaskan autumn air (where my husband recently got sent for work). We all returned from our walk feeling refreshed and a little more in love with each other.
It goes without saying that when everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. Feel good then that when you truly make exercise a priority, the other priorities are automatically brought up and improved within that one strategy. Love that feeling of ELEVATING YOUR LIFE!
