I am a former guilt-a-holic. Blame it on the worldview I was raised with, my own internal leanings, chronic idealism, or who-knows-what. No matter the source, always feeling like you’re missing the mark sucks.
And that’s why, as a recovered guilt-a-holic, I have taken great joy in recent scientific discoveries about the nature of our biological drives and what that says (or doesn’t say) about us as people.
More specifically, I’m talking about stress eating. Admittedly, stress-eating has never been a huge blunder of mine. (Of course, like everyone else, I’ve been known to occasionally stuff new-job anxieties down with snacks or drown a breakup in Ben & Jerry’s. Who hasn’t? In fact, right out of college, my roommate and I used to keep a pint of Cinnamon Buns flavor at the ready, in case of emergency. I wonder what that says about our dating lives at the time…)
But stress-eating affects all of us to one degree or another, and has really taken a toll on some of my loved ones and clients.
Keep in mind that I’m totally not here to be your therapist. (Though there’s nothing like a good therapist to help heal your guilt-a-holism. Happy customer!)
What I am here to do is to describe some of the physiological processes that we’re coming to understand about food and behavior.
That first requires coming to terms with a factoid that kind of sucks: Your body thinks it’s doing you a favor when it gains weight.
What?? Yep. Your body isn’t being mean to you. It kind of likes you.
When we enter into a state of stress, with elevated cortisol levels, our body goes into the same type of survival mode that our ancestors’ bodies were going into many moons ago when we lived in caves and jungles.
In any case of perceived threat, the body shifts its focus away from it regulatory processes and turns instead to what will have the most immediate impact on preserving survival in the short-term. And for many thousands of years, running out of resources (i.e., food) was an ever-present threat to staying alive. Thus, in times of threat the body would do two things:
1.) Hold onto the calories it had, thus slowing metabolism and hanging onto storage just in case the body couldn’t replenish itself, and
2.) Increase hunger hormones, to encourage the body to load up on fuel before it went out to do battle (with a lion, warring tribes, whatever the case might have been).
So here we find ourselves in our current predicament. Our lifestyles have changed at a much more accelerated pace than our bodies have been able to adapt to over the last few centuries, decades, and even years.
So while we still flood our bodies with those same primitive emotions (anxiety, fear, pressure, urgency), which elicit those same primitive responses (churning bellies, rising heart rate, shallow breathing), our bodies still can’t tell the difference between the threat of being chased by a bear and the threat of flubbing up our credit score.
So when we feel the sting of a snarky comment on Facebook, the tension of a significant other’s disagreement, or the pressure of an impossible launch date, what starts to happen? Our bodies temporarily put the brakes on metabolism, while at the same time spiking the hunger hormone grehlin to prompt hunger cues (even though you might have just eaten).
What’s more, we tend to crave quick-energy foods that are full of simple carbohydrates; these light up the reward centers in our brains, soothing us with a temporary burst of serotonin while “helping” our body with a quick rush of fuel (which, unless you really are running from a bear, gets sent to your storage shelves–a.k.a. fat cells).
So here’s where the guilt-factor usually comes into play. Say you’ve got a million things to do for your clients by this weekend. You’re so anxious about it, you’ve just polished off two bags of chips that you have in the pantry “for the kids”.
While your reaction is probably to start to beat yourself up over your lack of willpower, take a moment to realize that there are biological reasons your body is sending you these “Eat. Carbs. Now.” cues.
Typically, the longer and harder we wallow in our poor eating choices, the more prone we are to blunder again because we lack confidence.
Now, obviously, we still have choices to make, because the net result is the same: Stress-eating will lead to weight-gain, which unless you’re underweight, is in reality harmful to your health in this modern lifestyle we lead.
But stressing out over our poor choices or so-called absence of willpower will only exacerbate the stress response, leading to more stress-eating.
When people ditch the guilt, they usually regain a sense of control. And feeling in control can help mitigate the stressors that are causing the cravings in the first place.
Guilt, then, is really your enemy. You are completely capable of making fantastic choices without the aid of negative self-talk. And simply understanding your body’s processes is enough to really help you have more self-respect.
Your body is an incredibly fine-tuned machine, doing everything it can to help you. (Even though, God bless it, no one ever told it that you don’t actually need more weight to stay alive in this epoch.)
So if you do find yourself reaching for those cupcakes when the day gets rough, take a moment to understand what’s really going on. If you did already gobble up some carb-rich comfort food, no biggie–it’s a natural reaction.
But see if you can’t take a few deep breaths, talk your problems out, and see if life starts to feel better. Because, really, a relaxed state of mind is absolutely the best thing you can bring to your business, your body, and your spirit.
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